Controlling partners serve as a filter for the outside world, gradually forcing you to lose the support of family, friends and coworkers. Isolated and controlled in this way, you probably lost self-esteem and may still have trouble remembering what you once thought, felt and believed.
Through perspecticide, you may have given up religious affiliations, views of friends, goals in life, desires and ideas, substituting those of your dominating partner.
After leaving a toxic relationship, it’s not uncommon to feel like there’s no ‘you’ left and to have no idea what you want. If this is true for you, be gentle and patient with yourself.
It may take you some time to rediscover your authentic self, but the process can turn into one of delightful discovery. Honor your own right to be who you are and give yourself time, not only chronological time but especially unstructured time and space to be with yourself and to try new things, such as:
• Making new friends and reconnecting with old ones
• Experimenting with different types of exercise
• Dreaming and planning for the future
• Trying new activities
• Encouraging yourself to do things differently than you have before, even simple things like taking a bath instead of a shower, eating at a different time, taking a nap…