And Then There Is the Trait of ‘Conscientiousness’
Another fabulous trait that has contributed to you being a valued friend or partner and a success in your vocation…but not by the Cluster B/psychopath:
• Aims for achievement
• Likes planned rather than spontaneous behavior
• Not impulsive
We can see how these traits played into the approach by Mr. A, the longevity of the relationship, the breaking up/making up cycles and the aftermath trauma symptoms.
• Dutiful and committed in the relationship so not likely to bolt at the first sign of problems
• Not impulsive so isn’t going to break up quickly
• Thoughtful so will give every consideration to the gaslighting excuses
• Aims for achievement so wants to achieve a healthy relationship
• Persevering so can stay through many failed attempts at relationship restoration
• In recovery, conscientiousness will feel like naiveite because you ‘didn’t see it’ or persevered in the face of betrayal and your lack of impulsivity will be hated because you endured.
The combined ‘Super Traits’ of Agreeableness + Conscientiousness create a powerful dynamic: