Survive, Transform, Soar! – Issue #1

Survival Is Not Enough

Article by: Dawn Aegle, in SurviveTransformSoar.com | Friday, March 10, 2017

This inbox magazine is not about narcissism.
It’s not about borderline personality disorder.
Or any of the other personality disorders.
It’s not about sociopathy or psychopathy.
It’s not even about toxic relationships.

It’s about you.
About what happens to you after you get out of a toxic relationship.

Whether you survive…because many don’t.

Whether you can value yourself enough to give yourself what your pathological partner never could—the time and space and self-care to nurture and re-discover who you truly are.

And finally, it’s about whether you can retrieve the gift from this horrendous experience…what I call “turning trauma into tremendous.”

I know that you want that. Survive, Transform, Soar! is dedicated to helping you see that it’s possible and to learning how.

After my toxic relationship with a narcissist ended, I didn’t recognize the woman I had become, didn’t respect myself and could not envision the possibility of any life I would want to live.

In my own recovery I found that I moved through 3 stages:

1. I needed to survive the horrendous aftermath symptoms. (This may include surviving self-harm, violence by your former partner or the compelling urge to return to the relationship.)

2. I needed a safe haven, a metaphorical cocoon where I could ease stress, do self-care and remove myself from the judgments of others…a place where I could find my ‘self’ again.

3. Eventually, I was able to leave that cocoon, step-by-step, and emerge back into the regular world after recovering (and reinventing!) some sense of who I am as a person. I had rediscovered a ‘core me’ and also transformed into a ‘new me’ that is what I call even BTB4™ (Better Than Before!)

These three stages provide the core foundation for Survive, Transform, Soar! I am now thankful every day for the life I lead, filled with a gentle joy I never thought would be possible for me again. I know it is possible for you too, although I understand you may not be able to see it at this time. I was inspired to create Survive, Transform, Soar! because I want to share with others that there is hope.

Hope for so much more than just surviving!

Our mission is simple and two-fold:

1. To be a light in the storm that guides former partners of toxic relationships to survive, transform and soar after a damaging relationship with a pathological partner

2. To raise public awareness about the devastating effects of a toxic love relationship so that we are equipped to support the abused partner rather than further the harm

Goals that I have for Survive, Transform, Soar! are to:

1. Provide support during the withdrawal stage so that more former partners (FPs) survive

2. Provide early and ongoing information, inspiration and encouragement to FPs, helping you turn a horrendous experience into a gift—a seed cracked open that flourishes and blossoms, returning you to awareness and honoring of the precious gift you were meant to be

3. Help you learn to trust yourself again so that you can re-discover and fulfill your potential as you emerge from being squished into an ever-shrinking box

4. Make information available and visible earlier (such as when FPs leave the first time) so you don’t keep returning until health and hope of getting out is lost. The damage only gets worse over time.

5. Aid in recovery from financial rape, helping FPs to return to a solid financial footing that supports independence

6. Increase awareness in the broader society so that more people can recognize warning signs early and avoid toxic relationships altogether or get out quickly

7. Educate the public so that friends and family, therapists, early responders and the legal system are equipped to support FPs rather than furthering the harm out of ignorance or manipulation by the pathological partner

8. Lend our voice to increasing awareness about psychological pathology, making the world a better place for our daughters and for our sons

I’m glad you have joined me, here at the very beginning. You have stepped onto a path that will be unique to you, but similar to one I hesitantly stepped upon not too long before you. You are courageous to have begun this journey. You will need that courage, but I promise you won’t be sorry. Together, we will bring more love, more joy and more freedom to the world as we blossom into the unique people we were intended to be.

As you probably already know, no one will ever really understand what you have been through unless they have experienced it also. For those of us who have, there will be many ways we can support each other…that is one of the joys of soaring! If all goes well, I hope to someday be able to provide seed money for FPs who want to begin an online or other personal passion business. I invite you to share your dreams with me.

If this newsletter has been forwarded to you and you have not yet explored our website, more information and an opportunity to subscribe is available at SurviveTransformSoar.com. We are continuing to build out the site and will be adding many additional resources and a membership area with past issues. Please help spread the word to others who may have experienced the emotional abuse of a toxic relationship.

Because survival is not enough…